Funny Fundas Of Engineering

1. Some Basic definitions: -

A) Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.

B) Babe : After two years in Engineering, anything remotely female qualifies for that title.

C) Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wants to get some payback.

D) Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is.

E) Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.

F) Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

G) Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

H) Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby.
(No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

I) Lectures : Waste of time.. physical presence is a must ...
only meant for sleeping, completing assignemtns & general TP.

J) Tutions : What you take when you don't waste enough time.

K) Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.

L) Vernac Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged
with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal."
"You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?" )

M) Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the girls do your experiment,
and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.

N) Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in
your group, simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment,
and finally copy the readings from the girls of course...).



2. The Truth about exams....

A) Timing...when you are non enginering GF/BF is free to enjoy while you slog with submisisons & exams.

B) Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.

C) Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam.

D) KT : Makes you suicidal..the WAY of life...

E) Year Drop : Makes dad homicidal.

F) Reverification : A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).


3. An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life

a) Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
b) Thou shalt never write thy assignments your self.
c) Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
d) Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
e) Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
f) Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
g) Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
h) Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present ...PROXY is a MUST.
i) If thou can't convince them , confuse them.
j) Thou shalt start every sentence with a four lettered word.



4. The Years of Engineering

F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E. Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering

Is it worth it???

4. Engineers Anthem:

Hum Honge All Clear,
Honge All Clear,
Honge All Clear Ek Din,
OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas,
Pura hai vishwas,
Hum hoge all clear ek din.


5. Top two Engineering Rumours:

a) 'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'

b) 'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, it's been put up at Main Notice Board'

6. The most dreaded acronym for Engineers :

ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)

7. The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college :

Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than 0.025% then that college is engineers dream come true)

8. Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class.

9. The most important machine for Engineers :

Xerox Machine ( Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)

10. The most important table in an Engineer's House :

The glass table ( to carry out maths operations, during Night Duty.)

11. The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:

Submission Queue

12. An Engineer's favourite watch:

Bird Watch !

13. Common Engineering Dialogues:-

After a paper :
a) 'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
b) 'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'
c) 'I am failing....I got flunked royally'

14. On being Late:

a) "I thought it is a monday" (lab starts at 10:45 on monday)
b) "I was searching for the Classroom"
c) (classic) " Train was late"


15. During Lecture

a) "Kalinga ka assignment 2 tere paas hai??"
b) (classic) "Heads, we go home, Tails, we go home now!!!"
c) (classic 2)"Journal sheet hai??"

16. Lab

a) "Experiment. 2 likha??"
b) "Attendance ho gaya ??"
c) (classic)"Karna kya hai??"

17 Unit Test

a) "Oh man!!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?"
b) (classic) "Aaj kounsa test hai?"



18. For attendance

(less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane)
a) "I was late , so watchman dint let me in"
b) "I forgot the I-card , so watchman dint let me in"
c) (classic) "Utsav (college festival) marketing"

19. Late submission of assignments

a) "Maine X ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"
b) "Electronix ka last date extend hua thaa"
c) (classic) "I dint know the last date"

20. Late submission of Journal (for printouts)

a) "Format pataa nahi thaa"
b) "Printer is not working today"
c) (classic) "Friday ko light nahi thee"

21. VIVA (before exam)

a) "submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"
b) "Dekh Boss !! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai......

22. VIVA (general)

a) "Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko nahi poochhnewaala , then what is the point ?"
b) "Roll no. 1 aur 2 ko wapas bulaaya hai"
c) "External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai?"
d) "Ye kounse subject mein aata hai?"
e) (Classic) "Aaj kounsa Viva hai?"


23. Submission

a) " Ye bhi chhapna hai kya??"
b) "Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"
c)(classic) "Tujhe Harale ka sign aata hai kya?"

(classic conversation)

A: Ye tune kya likha hai / teri handwriting aisi kyun hai?

B: 1.Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh ,jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal.

2. Maine C se likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.

3. Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai woh chhod de.


24. EXAM

A) "Jo (mujhe)aata hai , woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh aata hai!"
B) "Ye question do saal se nahi poochha hai!"
C) "Ye last time hi poochha thaa!"
D) "Tere paas Jejurkar ke notes hai??"
E) " woh chapter..... .. mark weightage 6 marks..... (facial expressions speaks the story)"
F) " nahi samjha to rat le (RBR)! "

(classic.... . when someone is intensively doing his last revision)
"Yeh nahi aayega !!!"


25. Feeling after Completing Engineering:

Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!

THE SHOPWALLA :P

Today I parked my car in front of a shop. Abhishek and Mohnish (my friends) were also with me. The shopwalla comes out and says his car is out and will be comming soon. So we said "its a public parking anyone can park na". Mohnish gave a very dumb advice to the guy. He told him to "You have yellow pages na? then go and call a towingwalla and tow his(me) car"(he thinks a bit too much out of the box and most of the times is just plainly dumb). We told him that there is other parking and he can park else where. But that guy was like "what logic is that, I would park in front of my office only na". So we told him we are not moving his reply to that was "Acha aisa karo aap roz ayo aur idhar apne gadi park karo benchod mein apni gadi aur dukan he bech deta hun"(translation : "ok! Do one thing you come here and park your car everyday. Fuck this! I'm going to sell my car and shop)". To that we had no reply. All we could so is laugh our asses off as we walked away. lol

Monopolised!!

Monopoly the game not for the faint hearted. Only the might may step into the arena and it was for ages above 8 (but we allowed Abhishek to play too).
Well, today i went to play monopoly at my friend Vishaal's house. It was a pleasant experience for me but a rather unpleasant one for Vishaal, Abhishek, Mohnish and Shiv(yup! Why do you think they call me the monopoliser).
It started out slow and it seemed that Mohnish had the upper hand in the game as he had most of the elite and desired properties. He had two of the transports earning well 500k from ever one who landed and also two other properties. The rest were just hoping to land on good areas. Abhishek seemed lucky getting Sydney and owning the red street all by himself. But till then the damage was done - Mohnish traded with me. I gave him the transport and yellow got orange and light blue streets. I owned two streets and not thinking further i made one house on each property(now I see why I like construction so much). As i did that Mohnish got flooded with abuses and was told that he was a moron. But it seemed like a fair deal to me(obviously it was fair because I got a kick ass deal). He was earning 1 Million from the transports. Shiv Abnhishek had an argument, well sort of cause Shiv kept saying i wont sell you a flea to every deal that Abhishek kept making. As and when i made a house Mohnish was verbaly raped by abuses beyond my imagination. I laughed because my properties were worth millions and i was earning 5.5 Million if any one landed on them.
I felt bad for Shiv he had nothing but did a good job of blocking other properties from building. By the time Shiv got bankrupt and those properties got free. i immediately purchased all the houses and again blocked those houses(if you can't have them don't let others take advantage of it). There were no more houses to build and my rates were too high. But then Mohnish decided to visit Vancouver and stayed at my lavishly priced hotel. He thought he was rich but soon his game came to a brutal end and as he sold of his properties to pay the rent everyone still did not show any mercy and showered him even more abuses. I kept laughing(HAHAHA!.. yes that was the way i laughed. HAHAHA!..).
So it was down to me Abishek and Vishaal. Vishaal had squat left but still gave a good fight but soon his game had to come to an end and Mohnish was still getting abused. Shiv had become my property dealer/advisor/consultant(my right-hand man). He told Abhishek some realy good deals which would make him go bankrupt as soon as possible and told him to f*#k off when he refused. I gave Abhishek enough chances.. so finally he said "You think your richer than me na Pawan lets add up all the money and see whos got more monay"(I know how to spell money). So we did that. Inspite of me giving Abhishek 11Million for a 4Million property he had 36Million in all and I had a mind boggling, whopping, hair raising 56Million(yup I was Oprah rich). So in short they all got Monopolised!!... And Mohnish faced more and more abuses...
If any one needs my advise always deal with Mohnish he sux at it and yes Shiv is a good property dealer, Vishaal is a never say die guy although he doesn't realise the end is near and he should forfeit before facing an embarrassing defeat and Abhishek should never be allowed to play as he is under 8 and finally Pawan(that's me) , beware of him for he is the monopoliser(needs more emphasis)
MONOPOLISER!! (perfect). :D

Job Interview @ Geodesic

I am currently doing my final year engineering from Watumull College of Engineering. Recently i went for a job interview for a company called GEODESIC which was held at Thadomal Shahani Engineering College (T.E.S.C.) on the 19th of JAN. They had a presentation about the company to tell us what they are all about. It was supposed to start at 9 am but it started at 10 am and went up till 10.30 am.

It seemed like a nice company offering a package of 3.5 lacks p.a. with no bond. The company has a 10 day training and then your on the job. Every year they recruit very less students. It is a small company 525 employees and started in 1999. It has made several applications one famous one is the MUNDU messenger. Mundu IM allows you to stay connected with your family, friends and colleagues over major IM services including MSN, Yahoo, ICQ, AIM, Google, and Jabber.

The company seems nice and among the people who came on behalf of the company was a ex-watumull student. He shared his experience with us. The word most repeated was 'FUN'. Getting on to the whole assessment procedure.

The company has a criteria of 50%+ aggregate but the allowed students with 49% and some students with 1 live A.T.K.T. were also allowed. The criteria in basic sense was very flexible. They had a 3 selection process.

1. The aptitude test

2. Technical interview

3. Personal interview

1. The Aptitude Test-

In the aptitude there were 2 sections - A and B. It was mostly a MCQs and had some programming questions too. They gave us blank sheets to do our rough work and write our answers on the same sheet. Apparently they wanted to see our steps. It started at 11 am and ended at 11.50 am. It was for 50 minutes.

Section A had mostly qutant Qs. like -

a.)If we divide some value into ratios 3:4:5 and the ratio 5 gets 10 then how much is the total?

b.)The current age of the father is 3 times his son. After 15 years it will be 2 times his son. Then what is his current age?

and there were few other such questions. One more question which had 4-6 sub questions. I don't remember the question that well but it was something like this-

If there are 3 committees A,B and C and 6 people. There are 3 people who can't sit in A , three other who cant sit in B and there other who can't sit in C. they had given the names of the people who cant sit in those committees. So there where sub questions based on the above data.

Section B had 4 programs, one quant question and one theory question-

a.)WAP for string reverse without using any string functions.

b.)WAP for factorial using recursion.

c.)WAP for converting the string 'cat and dog' into 'tac dna god' without using any string functions.

d.)WAP to take number from 5-15 and displaying the average of the even numbers and odd numbers seperately.

e.)Explain merge sort.

I don't really remember the quant questions.

The total test was for 30 marks and i guess to clear the aptitude we needed a minimum of 15. The highest was around 24. The programs were for around 2-3 marks each and the other questions were for 1 mark each. We had to first attempt section A fully then we could move on to section B. I managed to score 22 some how, 11 in section A and 11 in section B well that is what i think i saw. Out of nearly 300+ students 48 cleared the aptitude.

2. Technical Interview-

Well it was the most longest wait of my life i think. We got the result of our aptitude around 4 pm and my technical interview was at 8pm. I was 2nd to last actually to get my interview done.

In my interview they asked me a lot of questions.

They asked about my final year project and asked me to draw a diagram to show the flow of my application. As my project had a SMS gateway they ased me about the OSI layers. They asked me to list them and say why are they needed and one e.g. of an application level software. They also asked me where does the SMS gateway lie in these layers.

They then started asking me questions on c and c++. They asked me about polymorphism and write two functions and explain function overloading. Then they asked if c++ was object oriented and its advantages.

In all it lasted around 20 minutes or so. Looking at it now the interview was not that difficult but at that moment I kind of blanked out(I can't handle stress very well).

There was nothing like you had to clear the technical interview and the next, personal interview round, was compulsory for everyone.

2. Personal Interview-

There is nothing to say about this. The questions were pretty standard like-

Tell me about yourself, about your family, why do you want do work for Geodesic, etc. Pretty standard. The final question was 'Would you like to know anything about Geodesic?'. To which I replied how far is the office from Khar (every Mumabikar knows traveling is a fight, as the traffic gets crazy)

The overall experience was very good. Although the results came at 10pm (Yeah! that late. But it is a common happening at interviews). My joining date will be after i finish my 8th sem which is 1st july.

This was my entire experience there where other questions also asked during the technical and personal interview like- WAP for linked list or binary tree. Then asked about strengths and weaknesses in the personal interview.

If you want to get into this company then my best tip would be that just revise c and c++. Just the basics and when you know the answer just say it directly and confidently. The main thing which i saw they were looking for were basics of c and c++ and confidence.

Most of the companies which have come for placements till now start with an aptitude test (trust me they aren't easy). Always go prepared for the aptitude, if not the interview (you cannot goto step 2 without doing step 1).
All The Best! :)